For THE TEAM AT HOME
The Truth Table
A practical ritual for building trust at home. A structured, safe space to say the things that too often stay unsaid, honestly, safely and without comeback.
A book in progress
Most things
don’t work out.
But that doesn’t mean you’re failing.
Rituals, relationships and practical tools for a better working life.
Join the Founding Reader list for field notes, early insights. The first 50 people to become founding readers will recieve a free copy when the book is published.
50 years trying to make things work out.
I was considered a high achiever in school, accelerated into a fast stream taking exams early and gaining 13 O levels. Pushed straight into A Levels, Physics, Maths and Philosophy. But that didn't work out.
I first took control of my life when I went to art college. That didn't work out either.
I still don't have a degree. I still can't sit still.
I’ve spent much of my life searching, changing direction, achieving things I once thought would make me feel successful. Sure it's been brilliant at times, things I’m so proud of but to be blunt, most things don't work out.
If things did work out, I'd still be an artist today.
But most things don't work out and I've come to realise that's a good thing.
Throughout I’ve been asking the same question.
Do I feel like I have been successful enough?
It's a question that has continued to burn me.
Have you heard the term 'the anxious overachiever', and with that the concept of the hedonistic treadmill. This is the idea that as soon as you reach or achieve a target, you very quickly feel like it's not enough, moving on rapidly to the next goal or target, potentially leaving you feeling exhausted.
Constantly chasing the next target rather than pausing and giving yourself a bit more credit for what you have achieved. I am not suggesting I have over achieved, but I relate to this and it is exhausting.
Have I been successful enough?
I decided I needed to work this question out for myself or I'd end up working myself into a thankless grave.
The high point of success is brief. Then it’s gone.
Getting there is where we spend our working lives.
Why do we put such enormous emphasis of success on the outcome?
If you had caught me after the Dadi awards holding those two prestigious trophies in my hand and asked me if I had been successful enough the answer would have been, "No". If you caught me after my Sky News interview for the mental Fitness start-up that I founded, after successfully raising a £1 million seed investment round and asked me if that was success, I probably would have broken down on the floor in fornt of you. I can tell you flat out that while each of those points may well have seemed successful externally, internally I was consumed by what was still not achieved, and how much still just wasn’t working out. I didn't feel like success at all.
The outcome is a moment. The journey is the part you actually have to live.
What if we stopped defining success by the outcome?
And started defining it by how the journey feels?
Something had to change for me.
And it did. I had my road to Damascus moment.
This is a story I will cover fully in the book. But suffice it to say I had to let go of a business. A business I founded and put everything into, financially, physically and emotionally. It was only after it had gone, that it finally dawned on me. The feeling of success is completely within our control and it does not exist outside. It actually only exists inside and it is constant, not a fleeting outcome.
Let me ask you a theoretical question.
What would you change if you knew today for a fact that success was defined by how the journey feels not by what you finally achieve?
Here is what it changed for me. All my relationships.
I’ve observed that the quality of our relationships determines our feeling of success.
And I've spent 10 years testing that idea out.
Again and again, I’ve seen relationships shape that feeling of success at work.
When people trust each other, speak honestly, support each other and genuinely have each other’s backs, the toughest work and even failure can still feel fulfilling. When those relationships break down, even when it's supposedly called success, it can feel absolutley miserable.
For the past 10 years, this train of thought on connection, relationships and these questions of success have increasingly become the focus of my professional work.
I founded and built a mental fitness technology platform, worked alongside psychologists, scientists and athletes, and helped improve the connection and performance skills of more than 60,000 people.
Since then, my work has moved deeper into leadership development, team interactions and the everyday ways people work together, designing, measuring and testing what actually helps us feel better together.
It’s been one long experiment: exploring the intentional practices and environments we can build into working life to protect trust, openness, equal voice and the quality of our relationships for when the work gets difficult.
Now I’m asking people with very different experiences what helps those relationships thrive.
I’ve got my own experiences and opinions. But I don’t want this book to be one person’s answer.
So I’ve been speaking to people who have experienced performance, pressure, success, setbacks and relationships from very different perspectives, asking what helps people navigate uncertainty, conflict, trust, stress, purpose and accountability, and what the rest of us can actually use.
Global Workforce Leaders · Scientists · CEOs · Culture Experts · HR professionals · Olympic and Professional Athletes · Facilitators · Chefs · a Shaman · a Comedian and many more.
The result will be this book.
Lived experience, expert insight and practical rituals to protect relationships for when things don’t work out. So the journey can still feel successful, whatever the outcome.
Start with two rituals.
One for the team you work with. One for the team you go home to.
For THE TEAM AT work
The Round Table
A practical ritual for building trust in your team. A short, inclusive way to give everyone a voice, hear what’s really going on and create stronger connection before you need it.
As the book takes shape, Founding Readers will also receive more practical rituals and field notes from the research.
Become a Founding Reader.
I invite you to join me on this journey of honesty. The first 50 people who sign up will get a free copy when the book is published. I will also send you 'The Truth Table' and 'The Round Table' straight away, I hope they bring you the same value they have brought to my teams.
- ✓The Truth Table — a practical ritual for building trust outside work.
- ✓The Round Table — a practical ritual for building trust inside work.
- ✓New rituals and Field Notes as the research develops.
- ✓Selected stories, insights and early extracts from the book.
- ✓First news about publication.
- ✓50 free copies for the first 50 founding readers
No spam. Unsubscribe at any time.